Give thanks for the ghost

Thanks to social media, we have all developed a growing disdain for “ghosting.” The act of cutting off all communication with someone while dating without explanation has become the bane of our existence. It causes us to yearn for “closure” or at least end things with some sort of decency. In my personal experience, I have learned that disrespect and manipulation never “ghost.” The tantrums and abuse never ever ghost. I always tell myself, at least he ghosted before he got worse. Maybe he realized I would be too much of a problem for him the longer we continued. The sooner the ghost, the sooner “the one” can show up. As for me, over the years, ghosting has forced me to become more honest with myself. There have been times when I wish ghosting happened sooner. Did I reallyyyyyy like him THAT much? Was he reallyyyyyy that good for me? Was I THAT emotionally tied to him? Ghosting has also taught me not to pour myself into anyone when disappearing without warning is always an ever-present possibility.

Personally, I think ghosting teaches us that your significant other can disappear at any given time and you always need to be mentally and physically (and financially) prepared for that. Whatever stage of the relationship you are in, it can all be gone cold turkey just like that. You just need to make sure that your world doesn’t crumble when things end. The longer I date, the icier I become, causing me to not fall apart or lose my mind trying to keep up with why people do what they do. I have my own thoughts to worry about, and they need to remain intact at all costs. Ghosting is also a great way for the pestilence to remove themselves from your life on their own. No yelling and screaming, no big blow up, no dramatic saga. Just go where you’re going and don’t forget to go when you leave.

Love and vibes,
Nichole Naomi

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