The Molly Curse

For most die-hard Insecure fans like myself, the fight between Molly and Issa really struck a nerve in all of us. In episode 5 of Season 4, after finding out her boyfriend did Issa a favor, Molly felt the need to approach Issa at her success of a block party and confront her best friend in front of their other friends about her disdain with Issa. Shots were fired and social media went back and forth if they were Team Issa or Team Molly. I have been team Issa since day one. As far as I’m concerned, there’s no coming back from that.

In my life so far, I have been in 4 friendships and 2 relationships with people just like Molly. They can only have anything to do with you when they feel as though they are above you. In the case of Issa, she has been in her struggle season for quite some time, and now that she actually made something happen for herself, Molly didn’t know how to handle it and blew up at her. No shame, no remorse, and actually ready to throw hands like Issa did something to her.

In the case of my past experiences, I have been blocked/cussed out/blown up at/thrown under the bus…..when I stopped feeding egos and did things on my own. While at my first college, I was friends with a young lady that when I disagreed with her and corrected her on something, actually said to me “you are whatever I say you are, and don’t think you’re cute like you’re somebody!!” Needless to say, that was the last day we ever spoke. When I would see her on campus I would walk past her like she never existed.

While at my second college, I was friends with another young lady who I went through 2 rounds of friendship with. With our first fall out, she wanted me to apologize for dating someone because all my attention wasn’t on her. She always made sure to keep up with me every once in a while. So after a few years, we became friends again. The second fall out came about because I got a job where I was making more money than she was. She then told me I threw her under the bus because I was jealous of her and how she had forgiven me three times but I’m a repeat offender. (like she died on the cross for my sins)

About three years ago, I began to develop a close relationship with one of my cousins. Unfortunately, she is a very needy and clingy girl. Once I realized she only wanted me around because it was her first time being single in years, I had to cut that short real quick. She once told me that her friends in DC would be depressed since they can’t hang out with her in New York, and she doesn’t see why she has to beg me to hang out. Once she started dating someone, my sister and I never heard from her again.

To watch Molly and Issa go head to head like that felt like the writers know every detail of my life. I sat there like people really have all the strength in the world for those they feel are beneath them, but quiet as a church mouse when it comes to anyone else. As the old Jamaican saying goes, “duppy know who fi frighten” (people know who to try).

A lesson for both parties involved, if you ever find yourself belittling someone, especially someone close to you please take in to consideration what the root of your issues may be. Are you miserable and looking for company? Also, ask yourself, if you think so little of someone then why are you even friends with them at all? What personal inadequacies are you experiencing? And why do you feel the need to project them on to someone else? And finally, will you be able to handle if/when they clap back at you?

As for the belittle-ee, having had to learn this lesson the hard way, learn to stand in your own self-assurance even in your darkest of seasons. Your boundaries are for you, and if you are lax with your boundaries, others will pick up on that and walk all over you. Always remember what you will and will not tolerate. How you govern yourself is nothing to force on anyone else, but it is also something that cannot be shaken especially due to someone else’s insecurities. And finally, work on your immediate clap backs whenever someone passes their place with you.

Insecure has been signed for a season 5!!! Will you be tuned in?? I definitely will be.

Love and Vibes,
Nichole Naomi

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